After two years of marriage I’m finally starting to understand what it truly means to be married and have a healthy marriage. To love someone wholeheartedly that is so humanly imperfect. To stand with them through all the trials and tribulations of life and be there without judgement. To love like Christ loved us so patiently and kind. To love them even when they don’t love themselves. Always encouraging them to be their complete authentic selves. To leave pride to the side for the greater good of the relationship. To always continue growing and improving yourself both personally and together . To love EVEN when you don’t like each other . Because bad times don’t last forever. To communicate always. To laugh and enjoy each moment in life because through the ups and downs you have each other . Two people learning daily to become one. To making the small things the best things. To not taking jabs even when u can because when they’re hurt you’re hurt too. To always making time for date nights no matter how long you’ve been married. Always remembering to make each other feel special way after the honeymoon phase is over. To always seek God for advice about each other and not some other person. To keep yourself up not only for yourself but for them too. Always elevating. Learning how to agree to disagree. Always putting love first.
Sounds easy right?
Well it’s not! Marriage takes work and constant practice. If you practice being a good spouse eventually it will become second nature. Sometimes you will feel like you’re doing it all wrong but guess what if it works for your relationship then your doing it right. No two relationships are the same. Rule number one don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s. Rule number two don’t put fairy tale expectations on your relationship because as soon as it doesn’t live up to that impossible fairy tale image you’re going to be disappointed. This is real life and in real life things happen and you have to learn how to get through it together as a team. Especially in this abort ship generation. I call it the abort ship generation because as soon as the ship(relationship) hits a rock (that rock can be bad finances, or huge disagreement) people are so ready to jump off the ship and go their separate ways. I must be honest that was me in the beginning of my marriage but then I searched and learned what a vow in front God really meant. Both partners have to be willing to put the other before thy self. Love is selfless. Love is kind and encouraging words. Love pushes you to greatness not letting you settle because it’s easy. Love and marriage is a journey worth taking.
Trust me I’m no expert. I’m just a woman trying to find her way as a wife and mother. Tips I would give those who are wives and mothers find a hobby outside of your husband and children. You need time to yourself. You need to rejuvenate yourself from taking care of so many people throughout each week. Women tend to put themselves last but you can’t run without fuel. You must take care of yourself first. That includes some self love and self care (whatever that may be for you). I enjoy thrifting alone, getting a mani pedi, meditating, journaling, take long showers and bubble baths, and when I get a break from nursing school I enjoy reading a good book. You see I didn’t always have this theory. I use to run myself dry so quick because I never took time for myself. My husband and I then realized I’m a much better mother and wife when I’ve had some time to recover and rejuvenate. I know you’re probably thinking how do you find time for yourself when you work, have errands to run daily, dinner to cook, house to clean, kids needing baths or go to school full time. Where here is the key let your husband help you!!! Give him a task or two. Teamwork makes the dream work!!! Allow him to watch the kids while you take some time for yourself. If he is at work and you’re in desperate need of some me time. Here is an idea put the kids to bed early!!! Yeah it might take them awhile to fall asleep but at least they’re in bed. Sometimes a quiet house is all you need. Call your mom or mother in law to watch them. If you have a group of friends who have children designate a day that each friend watches the children while the other moms get out. Take turns on the weekend doing this. It is crucial for your marriage to take this time alone and rejuvenate. This cuts down on all the snappy attitude that us women tend to have when we don’t get a break. Rest your super hero cape from time to time and I guarantee you that when it’s time to put it back on you’re going to be better than before.
Trying to keep it Jazzy all while being a mom, I’m out yall until next time ✌🏾
onejazzymom 